Your Impostor Syndrome Is An Opportunity
A lesson on insecurity and personal growth from my CEO.
‘’So are you happy in your job? Do you feel confident in your role?’’
I was stirring around in my soup. My CEO was sitting across from me, looking straight at me in anticipation of a response. It’s been about 9 months since I’ve closed off my student-life chapter and went back to the company I did an internship for in 2018. While it’s perfectly sensible to have a chat about how you feel in your role after a few months, I couldn’t help but it was a trick question set up by the Universe to get me to finally spill my secrets.
‘’Yeah. Well, I’m getting there. I guess it comes with experience.’’
We have a good relationship and I’m a big fan of being honest — no matter the setting or who you’re sitting across from.
‘’This might sound silly. But I have this thing called impostor syndrome. It’s a real thing.’’
I’ve always struggled with insecurity. As a natural consequence, becoming a 21-year old executive at the company where I work was like insecurity on steroids. It’s not that I don’t believe in my abilities, because I do. I know I’m good at my job — that’s why he hired me again, put me in the management team, and is happy to drop any responsibility on me — but there’s always a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I can be exposed as a fraud at any moment, revealing that I’m nowhere as good as others perceive me to be. A classic case of impostor syndrome.
Waiting To Be Exposed
Impostor syndrome often can cloud the mind of anyone, regardless of job or social status, but high-achieving individuals often experience it and it’s narrowly linked with intelligence. So if you experience feelings like this often; Congrats — you’re probably a smart cookie.
This tiny benefit usually doesn’t weigh up to the anxiety and other mental symptoms that it can bring. A couple of characteristics of feeling like you’re a fraud and you only got to where you are because of dumb luck include:
- Self-doubt
- An inability to realistically assess your competence and skills
- Attributing your success to external factors
- Berating your performance
- Fear that you won’t live up to expectations
- Overachieving
- Sabotaging your own success
- Setting very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short
As you can imagine, my work life can get some pretty anxious spells every now and then.
When I explained it to my boss, he was surprised. In my mind, he’s part of the ‘’problem’’, constantly giving me praise for my abilities. It’s complicated to explain this to him because you would think that giving me praise would ease the impostor syndrome. But part of impostor syndrome is that you think that others falsely perceive you as much better than you feel you are, so constant praise usually fuels the fire. He had no idea this was occupying my mind.
Then he turned it into a lesson.
Impostor Syndrome is Your Superpower
‘’I had no idea you feel that way,’’ he said. ‘’But if you think about it, it’s kind of great that you have that.’’
Yeah, great to be riddled with anxiety.
He continued. ‘’I think it’s good that you are kept on your toes a bit. You are great at your job, have an eye for detail, have a great attitude, deliver quick results, and are an efficient communicator, and all those ingredients could easily make for an overconfident attitude. It’s good that you always want to do better.’’
He has a point. What if I had the opposite? What if I was an overconfident person who delivers mediocre results and because of my cocky nature, always assumed I did things well and never strived to be better? Where would that leave me?
Exactly, nowhere. (And with a couple of enemies on the work floor).
‘’If you’re a little bit insecure, that means you always want to work to be better. It makes you humble. That’s admirable, and it also helps you further along in your career.’’
Humility is something I’ve always admired in others. Nothing is as honest and pure as a person who dares to be humble in a world full of big egos. So waking up to the realization that impostor syndrome can only happen to humble people struck a chord within me.
This conversation got me thinking, and there are actually even more benefits to having impostor syndrome.
Other Benefits
First and foremost, you likely have an empathetic personality. If you didn’t give a shit about what others thought of you and the work you delivered, you wouldn’t suffer from this syndrome. But you do. However twisted it may be, your insecurity points to the fact that you care about others. And that’s a great trait.
Secondly, it indicates that you’re challenging yourself. You’ll always be pushing yourself to new and unexplored territories, whether it is to prove yourself to others or to yourself. When you need to do something you’ve never done before, you’re not going to feel comfortable, but in taking the challenge lies immense personal growth. Growth is not comfortable.
It’s also a signal that you’re gaining experience. It reminds me of this quote by Aristotle:
“The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.”
Since research has pointed out that imposter syndrome often arises when you’re getting better at what you do, it could be a sign that you are learning more and getting better at your craft. Isn’t that something to celebrate?
Lastly, to emphasize the point made by my boss, it keeps your ego in check. Nobody likes a know-it-all with an overinflated ego who assumes he always has the best solutions, ideas, and methods. It won’t push you to explore new opportunities.
Be Kind to Your Mind
Impostor syndrome can be an opportunity. That’s what we’ve learned now. But no matter how much of a good thing it can be, it can still make you feel insecure. Insecurity is never an easy fix. We know that, and no ‘’Get rid of your insecurity in 5 seconds!’’ articles should convince you otherwise. But I think as long as you keep the silver linings of impostor syndrome in mind and you make a conscious effort to not be so hard on yourself, you’ll already come a long way.
Or have lunch with my CEO. That helps too. :)
