Use This Simple 10-Second Trick To Find Out If You Actually Want Something
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re absolutely sure you want to commit to something and three days later you have completely forgotten about it? You think you have found your new calling in life and just like that, it’s gone again.
I have this all the time.
Whether it’s a new painting I want to paint, a new musical instrument I want to learn, a new course I want to enroll in or a new business I’m sure I want to start. Some of these ideas I actually follow through with, but most, I don’t.
Honestly, it’s exhausting. I think I know myself and have found a new passion and before I know it, I completely turn around on that ‘amazing’ idea. ‘’What was I even thinking?’’
The challenging part is that in the moment you first come up with the idea and get all excited, there’s no way to tell if that idea will be one of those ideas that die a slow death a few days later of if it’s one of those ideas that will actually stick because I actually really want it. They feel the exact same in that first stage.
If you’ve ever experienced this, rest assured, you’re not alone.
Luckily, there’s a hack around this, and all it takes is 10 seconds to tell the truth from a false desire.
Trick to Identifying Real Desires
I was listening to Rachel Brathen’s podcast some time ago, and she talked about this exact situation — which was a nice epiphany in itself because I had never actually realized that other people experience these manic thoughts too.
She was talking about her goals for the new year. This is what she said:
‘’And then lastly, my third goal is to pursue astrology. I want to continue studying astrology. Maybe even.. start to… Oh, I get nervous saying it. Maybe even start to give readings if I can become confident enough?
God, when I say that, I just start smiling. That’s how I know that’s a real dream.’’
And that’s exactly it. I have backtracked my intentions, passion projects and past goals. The real ones, and the ones I thought were real at first but turned out to be fuelled by my ego rather than my heart.
All the real ones would have made me smile. And I did the same with goals I had set now, like starting a certain business I had in mind. That doesn’t set my soul on fire like the ideas of writing books, creating art, making music and many other passions do.
That’s how I know it’s a manifestation of the head, not the heart.
And for the record: that’s completely fine too. It’s just different than how I intend to navigate through life.
How to Put This Into Practice
Literally all it takes for you to filter out the fake status/money/fame/ego-fuelled dreams from the real ones is…
- to sit down;
- visualize yourself achieving your goal;
- and take note of the reaction in your body.
Does your heart start beating faster? Do you get nervous at the thought of this dream actually manifesting into reality? Does that thought make you excited? Do you automatically start smiling?
If the answer to the questions above is ‘Yes’, you’ve found that your desire is real. Knowing this, chances of committing to the process and actually achieving that goal are now much bigger as you have consciously acknowledged your desire to achieve your vision.
It will be much easier to ride out the inevitable downs in the process because you have found your ‘why’.
If you answered all the above questions with ‘No’, ask yourself what the real reason is why you think you want that thing. Is it because you should be wanting that? Is it what other people expect of you? Is it because there’s big money involved? Do you just like the idea of that goal but not the actually reality that comes with achieving that goal?
This trick is incredibly useful for filtering real dreams from the fake ones and getting clarity on your ‘why’. And in the words of Friedrich Nietschze,
‘’He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.’’
